Football is Back! Say Goodbye to Your Husband

I am sure by now that you have noticed that football is back. High school has been back already for a few weeks. College made its triumphant return in the last week or so. And football capped off the football trinity with an explosive opening game a few nights ago with the Broncos beating the reigning champs, the Ravens, in record-breaking fashion. Unfortunately, this return will also mean the end for a few things, specifically in your loving relationship.

For one, say bye-bye to a conversation free of any mention of football. Your hubby will be overwhelmed by the urge to talk at least in small part about the current football season. This is worse if he is a “die-hard” fan or an alum. The early parts of the season are filled with optimism and extreme fans tend to believe in the incredible. You are more likely to hear phrase like “this is our year” or “we have a good shot at winning it all” despite his team not being a contender since the John Adams administration. (I’ll wait and let that joke sink in. We good? )

Oh and before I forget go and ahead and cancel the double dates. He may go out on the date in body but his mind and focus will be on the tube. He will check his phone repeatedly and it will be no use in him being there.

Also say good-bye to the Honey, Do List killer husband. As football has now spread into your Thursday (NFL) and Wednesday (college) the non football day left will be Tuesday. And before you claim Tuesday…that’s Fantasy Football waiver wire day! If he is like me, he has multiple teams and multiple sets of bragging rights to claim. So there no days off in Fantasy Football. Victims will be your lawn and the house upgrade plan. That guest room will just not get painted.

Last but not least, say goodbye to Mr. Healthy Eater. Football is filled with carbs, rich sauces and heavy fats. Between the wings, burgers, hot dogs, BBQ, beer and chips, his washboard abs will start to look like a pack of low quality, turkey dogs. He will delay his 10k training until the spring and his gym membership will rarely get used.

Football is life!

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